I know it's been a while, but now that things have finally settled down, the only thing I can think to do is... write about it.
I've finally reached that point in life. You know, where you start to really think about where your life is going, what you really want and what truly makes you happy.
It's been hard for me to rationalize the fact that everything has led up to this point. High school led to college, college led to internships, internships led to jobs...but then what? I'm in this awkward stage where half of the people in my life are beginning college and experiencing independence and partying till the sun comes up, and the other half are getting married or having children. And I know, I don't have to choose between those two lifestyles, but it's the fact that I don't have a plan anymore that makes me feel unsettled.
Everything I've considered to be important and part of my plan up until this point, is seemingly done. Game over. "You've arrived at your destination," *Siri voice* plays in my head on an endless loop.
But am I really done? What do I do next? Obviously my short term goals are to work hard at my job to get promotions, save money, spend money, make new friends, maintain old friendships, etc. But what is life really about now?
Does anyone really know or think about this? Life has always been a constant hustle to me. Grinding all day, everyday. But now, my mind is preoccupied with what's next?
And, I guess the point of this blog and all this rambling is to tell you...surprise! I really don't know. And the biggest part of this revelation is that it's okay.
The hardest pill to swallow right now is that I don't have a solid plan for the next decade of my life. And I'm learning to be okay with that. This harsh realization for me has really led to some deep thinking, (like turn the lights off and stare at your walls type shit). And I've realized that the plan moving forward, is to have no plan.
From now on, my focus is to broaden my lens and take in everything. Focus on what makes me happy and fuels me, and do more of that. And I suggest you do the same, because it's honestly liberating.
For those of you suffering from the slump. Whether it's sophomore year slump, post-grad slump, or the new parents slump- just keep moving forward. Focus on the small victories, and things that make you feel excited again.
Not sure if you've found that yet? That's okay. Try something new, even if it makes you nervous as all hell. The only way to find out what's next, and what you're meant to do is by being uncomfortable.
Until then, hang in there and realize you're not alone. In fact, you're just one person on this big, round Earth that is trying to figure it out. Take a deep breath, make a list or don't, try something new and really focus on your happiness. Because in the end, that's what matters, not a plan. Not anymore.